The Market Tote

This isn't just a tote. It's a mobile monument to everyone who's ever believed in their weird little dream despite the universe's aggressive indifference. Emblazoned with a burger that would make Bob weep with pride (or just weep), this Georgia Blue denim hauler is ready for whatever fresh hell the grocery store has in store. Those dandelion and tomato straps? They're not just colors—they're a meditation on mustard and ketchup, the yin and yang of condiments, the eternal dance of... okay, they're just nice straps. But this tote gets it. It knows you're one "Mom, can we stop at the craft store?" away from completely losing it. Yet here you are, bag in hand, ready to face another day. Bob would be proud. Or tired. Probably tired.